Determine if Your Relationship is Abusive
While there are abused men in this world, women are eight times more likely than a man to be abused, so this discussion will be gender appropriate.
There are signs everywhere when you or someone you know is suffering abuse. If anyone thinks that getting married is going to change anything, they are in heavy denial and need a wake-up call. There can be many red flags when people are in a new relationship and women need to learn to listen and watch for them. When they recognize them they need to run before it escalates to physical abuse or worse.
Signs of an Abusive Relationship
- Do you walk on eggshells so as not to anger him? Does your partner exhibit extreme jealousy or control? Does he threaten or coerce you into sex? Does he try to control where, when and why you go anywhere?
- Does he check up on you, follow you or review your text messages and phone calls?
- Does your partner try to limit your access to your support system like friends and family?
- Do they blame you for their out-of-control behavior or loss of control?
- Does he view you as a secondary citizen, his property or a sex object?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then the red flag is flying in your face. Ignore it at your own peril. Never allow anyone to strip you of your support system in this life. Abusers like to alienate you so they can have their way and you will have nowhere to turn. There is not much of a difference between physical and mental abuse except where the bruises are left. Physical abuse scars you inside and out while emotional and mental abuse scar your heart and soul. If you marry this person he will not change over the long term. You will change. You will begin to believe the belittling comments and begin to say them to yourself.
In time, you will lose sight of who you are. You should not marry anyone who is exhibiting any of the signs mentioned above. If this is a new relationship don’t fool yourself into thinking they won’t worsen over time. It is possible to get professional help but the abuser must be committed to the process. It is vitally important that the abuser recognizes his behavior and wants to get help. You know deep down if this is a possibility. If your gut is telling you that he is never going to change then you know that you are not ready for marriage or ready to even consider continuing the relationship.
Life with a Baby | Marriageon 17 Sep 2008 at 6:59 pm 1[...] a world where abuse and unhappiness are too prevalent, show your daughter and son how to change that in their own life. You would never [...]